“So you like…. don’t work?”
“When do you plan on going back to work?”
“What does your husband think?”
MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS!
Boy have I heard it all. Of course I have heard the positive side to this as well, but this post isn’t about that. This post is strictly about the NEGATIVE questions I have been asked even during my pregnancy.
Some of you may know that we found out we were having a baby shortly after our cross country move. I was scared to work- partly because I knew that telling an employer I was pregnant would decrease my chances of getting hired and also because I knew hiding it would most likely be worse as most companies don’t see you as an asset at that point. I put my doubts aside and applied to as many positions I found available. As close to impossible as it was to even get an interview anywhere, I came across a temporary position at the popularly known baby store Carter’s. I figured, whatever, discounts on baby clothes. I went into the interview with no expectations. I honestly didn’t care, want or need the job but I instantly clicked with the manager, told her I was pregnant and long story short, she hired me. It was a low paying job, but I had hours and hours of free time at home while my husband was at work and had ZERO friends so I accepted it.
****I promise there is a point to my rambling… ****
Working there was alright, but let’s be real… It takes money to work (this can be arguable but think realistically). You need to buy the appropriate clothing, gas, lunch money, etc. When I began getting paychecks I was spending more on my credit card than I was actually making. Not because I am reckless (although I did get my hair done for way too much money but that’s besides the point), but because that’s just how life works.
People think that because I’m young and a stay at home mom, I’m just being lazy. They think I’m just another one of those entitled millennials. For me and my family, this isn’t necessarily about gender roles or whatever you want to call it. Working just doesn’t make sense. Yes, I have an administrative background but those jobs are few and far between to where you actually make a decent amount of money for it to be worth it. Child care these days is outrageous.
The way I look at it is this – Why would I work countless hours that I will NEVER get back just to make just enough money to pay a babysitter to raise MY child?! That just sounds absurd to me and my husband agrees.
“Well why don’t you just have a family member watch him?”
Not only does all of our family live out of state, but if I have the choice why would I choose to miss out on the most significant, developmental growth of my child just to make a little extra money?
I am lucky enough to be blessed with a wonderful husband who goes above and beyond for our family to where I am able to be in this situation. By no means are we rich, but we live beautifully and I couldn’t ask for a better life.
“What do stay at home moms even do all day?”
This has got to be my favorite question… I am so glad you asked!
And don’t worry- it’s not as glamorous as it’s cracked up to be.
Not only do we keep our children ALIVE! If we breastfeed- the baby is attached to our boob for about 20/30 min (sometimes more) every couple of hours, we are human pacifiers, we change diapers, bathe them, console them when they are crying, entertain and get thrown up on. We also try and be housewives by making food, cleaning, doing laundry, going grocery shopping, taking care of animals (if we have them) all with a baby on our hip!
It’s multiple rings around your coffee cup because you never have a chance to finish it in one sitting. It’s not being able to put your baby down. It’s attempting to read a book so you don’t lose your sanity. It’s doing things during naps, hoping then don’t wake up because they get separation anxiety. It’s attempting to baby wear when your kid wants nothing to do with it. Some days you feel defeated and worthless because your household chores get pushed to the bottom of your priority list.
It may not sound like a lot to some people and I know there are mothers who work full time and then come home and take care of their families (major kudos there) but it really is hard work. Being a mother is a 24 hour job. We don’t get time off or sick days and we sure as hell don’t get paid for any of this. It can be emotionally and mentally exhausting, but being a mother is the most rewarding job that I have ever worked.
So once again for those of you who like to ask these questions, or for those of you who still don’t understand the importance of a stay at home mom- we can agree to disagree. But please,
MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS!